David mustered the men who were with him and appointed over them commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds. David sent the troops out - a third under the command of Joab, a third under Joab’s brother Abishai son of Zeruiah, and a third under Ittai the Gittite. The king told the troops, "I myself will surely march out with you."
But the men said, "You must not go out; if we are forced to flee, they won’t care about us. Even if half of us die, they won’t care; but you are worth ten thousand of us. It would be better now for you to give us support from the city."
The king answered, "I will do whatever seems best to you."
So the king stood beside the gate while all the men marched out in units of hundreds and of thousands. 5 The king commanded Joab, Abishai and Ittai, "Be gentle with the young man Absalom for my sake." And all the troops heard the king giving orders concerning Absalom to each of the commanders. (NIV)
Of late, David had been a wimp… such a change from the young man who had challenged and defeated the great Goliath… such a change from the man who had taken the fortress of Jerusalem for God… such a change from the man who had reunited the twelve tribes of Israel under one king. For the past few years, this great king… this David who would be the ancestor of Jesus… the man whose throne the Lord will one day occupy… this man who was so greatly loved by God… had been a wimp. His recent life had been characterized by indecisiveness and moral decay. He had committed adultery with Bathsheba, and had ordered her husband killed. He had avoided disciplining Joab, even though Joab had repeatedly been deceitful and conniving and had committed murder. He had let his children run wild, doing anything they pleased, including Absalom’s murder of Amnon. From the character of his life over the past few years, there were probably innumerable other, smaller things he had done – or avoided doing – that went along with his indecisiveness and apparent lack of morals.
Sounds to me like – for a while - David was suffering from depression. It started with the incident with Bathsheba and went down hill from there. David had stepped out of God’s will in the name of selfish desire, and the resulting depression had led him further and further down the path to destruction. Most likely, it was during this time that David wrote Psalm 51. And then somewhere during this time, he had sought God’s forgiveness and had stepped back into walking with the Lord.
So now, David was beginning to get his act together. He was in control again. He took command of his armies and rallied them against the armies of Absalom. David was back to being the man he should have been all along.
When you and I sin, one of the very natural consequences is depression. When we’re outside of God’s will for us, we lose the joy of close communion with Him. We’re out of fellowship. By the very act of sinning, we reject His constant companionship. We shove God out of our lives, choosing instead the company of our sin. Our lives become fruitless. Our every effort is in vain… because without Him, we are nothing. Like David, our very character changes. Instead of the fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control - we are filled with the fruits of a sinful life - despair, hopelessness, conflict, fear, confusion and doubt. When you and I sin, we construct a wall between ourselves and our Lord. Our side of the wall is a miserable place to be. The only thing that will tear down that wall is our willingness to repent and seek His forgiveness. That’s what David did in Psalm 51. And in his renewed fellowship with the Lord, David’s old character returned.
If sin is keeping you out of fellowship with the Lord… if your life is filled with despair and confusion and fear and depression… seek His face. Turn away from your sin and turn back to God… receive His forgiveness and His grace in your life. Turn away from the sin that is separating you from His presence. Find comfort and peace and love and joy in fellowship with Jesus… because it’s a jungle out there.
Ahithophel said to Absalom, "I would choose twelve thousand men and set out tonight in pursuit of David. I would attack him while he is weary and weak. I would strike him with terror, and then all the people with him will flee. I would strike down only the king and bring all the people back to you. The death of the man you seek will mean the return of all; all the people will be unharmed." This plan seemed good to Absalom and to all the elders of Israel .
But Absalom said, "Summon also Hushai the Arkite, so we can hear what he has to say." When Hushai came to him, Absalom said, "Ahithophel has given this advice. Should we do what he says? If not, give us your opinion."
Hushai replied to Absalom, "The advice Ahithophel has given is not good this time. 2 Samuel 17:1-7 NIV
When Ahithophel saw that his advice had not been followed, he saddled his donkey and set out for his house in his hometown. He put his house in order and then hanged himself. So he died and was buried in his father’s tomb. 2 Samuel 17:23 NIV
Ahithophel had attained a lofty position as advisor to Absalom. It had taken him quite some time to get there. One doesn’t become a trusted advisor to a leader over night. You have to work at it. And you have to be right every time you speak. Ahithophel was such a trusted advisor, it was said that "the advice Ahithophel gave was like that of one who inquires of God." Even David trusted what he had to say. (2 Samuel 16:23 NIV) But Ahithophel was doomed to fail, because David had asked God to make Ahithophel’s advice seem foolish to Absalom. David didn’t ask God to make Ahithophel’s advice itself foolish, only to make it seem foolish. And it did. Suddenly, what he said no longer mattered. After years of being respected and admired, suddenly no one cared what Ahithophel said. So he went home and killed himself.
Can you relate to Ahithophel’s feelings? I can. When my youngest son left home to go to college, I felt incredibly lost and alone. For twenty years, my primary focus in life had been rearing children. Oh, I had worked, and I had friends and hobbies and ministries at church. But my main focus… my central effort… was over. No more prodding someone to do his homework. No more fussing at someone to clean his room. No more discipline. No more house full of noisy boys. No more meals I had to fix at a certain time. No more hugs every morning and every night. I felt totally useless. What good was I to anyone? Did anyone at all need me any more?
The same thing can happen to the person who retires from a life-long career. For years you are respected and admired for your work. Your advice is sought by all your subordinates. Your thoughts are respected and admired. Your successes are used as examples for your peers. The challenge of each day is what keeps you going. And then one day you find that you don’t need to set your alarm. No one will care if you sleep in. No one needs your expertise on a matter. Nothing is urgent. The greatest challenge you have is improving your golf stroke. No one really needs you any more. Right?
Wrong! I found that my children do still need me – in a different way. But they need me just the same. And now, because I don’t have children demanding most of my time and attention, I’m free to do more things that will benefit others outside my family than I was during those twenty years of mothering. The retired person, too, can finally have time to really minister to those around him, to find purpose and challenge in serving Jesus full time that is even more fulfilling than his career has been.
When a door in your life closes – no matter what kind of door – look for the window that God opens for you. There are limitless possibilities for what you can do with your life, no matter how useless you might feel. If you have a pulse, God has a purpose for you.
When David had gone a short distance beyond the summit, there was Ziba, the steward of Mephibosheth, waiting to meet him. He had a string of donkeys saddled and loaded with two hundred loaves of bread, a hundred cakes of raisins, a hundred cakes of figs and a skin of wine.
The king asked Ziba, "Why have you brought these?"
Ziba answered, "The donkeys are for the king’s household to ride on, the bread and fruit are for the men to eat, and the wine is to refresh those who become exhausted in the desert."
The king then asked, "Where is your master’s grandson?"
Ziba said to him, "He is staying in Jerusalem , because he thinks, ‘Today the house of Israel will give me back my grandfather’s kingdom.’ "
Then the king said to Ziba, "All that belonged to Mephibosheth is now yours."
"I humbly bow," Ziba said. "May I find favor in your eyes, my lord the king." (NIV)
Once again, David was on the run. He probably thought that his running days were over after his great victory of uniting Israel as one nation. But then Absalom rebelled, turning the people against him. It didn’t take much to turn them, either. Absalom gave a few speeches, kissed a few babies, shook a few hundred hands – and suddenly, David was the bad guy in everyone’s minds. The "tabloid mentality" of the masses was no different then than it is today. The people were more ready to believe Absalom’s lies than they were to remember all the good that David had done for them. So David left ten concubines to mind the palace, then took his household and his circle of loyal friends and high-tailed it out of Jerusalem . He had no idea where he was going. He was just getting out of the city – possibly because he wanted to protect the city from the destruction a fight would bring, possibly because he was just tired of fighting, but also possibly because he didn’t know if he could fight any more.
From what happened with Ziba, it’s just possible that David’s mental state had become one of paranoia. Because when Ziba showed up with all those donkeys and provisions, David was suddenly just like the rest of Israel . He thought the whole world was against him already, so why not Mephibosheth, too? Everyone else was against him, so why wouldn’t the son of Jonathan also be a turncoat? David didn’t even check into the situation. Without hesitation, he instantly believed that Mephibosheth was plotting against him, too.
How many of us do the same thing, every day? How many innocent situations are turned to scandal because we’re ready to believe a lie? How many reputations have been ruined because of our tabloid mentality? How many relationships have been destroyed because of paranoia? It’s so much easier to believe a lie about someone than to check into the truth. And it’s a lot more fun, isn’t it? Especially if that lie concerns someone you don’t particularly like. But instead of instantly believing something that would damage another person, it would be a better course of action to consider the source. What kind of person is telling the tale? Is that person going to benefit if you believe what he’s saying? Ziba certainly benefited. David gave Ziba everything that belonged to Mephibosheth. Is the person who is speaking to you going to gain something – a promotion at work, a step up on the social ladder, an ego boost, revenge?
The next time you hear something damaging about another person – friend, co-worker, fellow church member, prominent figure – stop being paranoid. Throw off your tabloid mentality. Check into the situation to see what is really going on. Wouldn’t you want that person to do the same for you?
A messenger came and told David, "The hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom."
When you take a good, close look at Absalom, you see something very closely resembling a spoiled brat. He was a gorgeous young man. And he was talented, charismatic, intelligent, a leader – everything we’d all like our children to be. But he was a spoiled brat. David literally let him get away with murder! Absalom killed his half brother Amnon. David did nothing. Absalom burned Joab’s fields. David did nothing. Absalom did whatever he wanted. David did nothing. And his inaction lost David another son and almost cost him his kingdom.
Absalom had always done anything and everything he wanted. No matter how bad his actions were, he was never punished. Perhaps Absalom’s rebellion was a demonstration of his lack of respect for his father. Perhaps his early cries for attention and rules and boundaries that were never satisfied were what set him on the road to destruction.
Our middle schools and high schools and colleges are filled with young people who, like Absalom, have cried out for attention and rules and boundaries. But we were told to give them freedom, to allow them to make up their own young minds. Too many rules confuse children. Too much restriction squelches their creativity. Right and wrong and truth are all subjective. What’s wrong for one person may be right for another. Whether an action is wrong depends upon the circumstances. What’s truth for one person may not be truth for another. Let kids be free to experiment, no matter how potentially costly. Let them do what they want. It’s so much easier to give a child his way than to punish him. Besides, If you punish him, he might not like you. And so, with the help of Dr. Spock, who has been followed by a whole bevy of so-called experts on adolescent behavior (a group that makes Dr. Spock look downright conservative) – we have raised a generation of Absaloms.
Loving a child doesn’t mean letting the child get away with murder. Loving a child means dealing with that child in exactly the same way that God deals with you – with solid boundaries, with wise restrictions, with rebuke and punishment when he does wrong – each tempered with patience, with kindness and with unconditional love.
Train a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6 NIV
He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24 NIV
Absalom was an incredible young man… handsome, intelligent, talented and very, very charismatic. People were drawn to him. People adored him. They responded to his charm… his manipulation… his charisma. But with all of his many good points, Absalom was lacking in one very essential quality – integrity. Hiding behind those glorious entrances, … those brilliant speeches… those seemingly sincere embraces… was a heart filled with greed for power. His evil deceptiveness covered up the insincerity of his embraces. What the people saw as a deep love for them was nothing more than a deep love for himself.
In choosing our leaders, whether in politics or at work or in our churches, we must look closely at who they are beneath the surface. A person’s ability to speak inspiring words to a crowd is not an indication of that person’s character. A person’s ability to lead great numbers of people isn’t an automatic green light to that person’s character or integrity or wisdom. Look at Adolph Hitler. Look at David Koresh. Look at Jim Jones. Look at Osama bin Laden. Look at Kim Jong-il. Look at Warren Jeffs.
Take a close look at the people you are following. Look beyond their charm, their good looks, their inspiring speeches, their warm handshakes. Examine what they say to see how closely it resembles the Word of God. Look closely at their family lives. What kind of marriages do they have? What kind of children have they produced? Look at their personal history. How many cover-ups do you find? How many lies? How much deception? If you want leaders you can trust… if you want leaders you can depend upon… instead of charm, good looks, and charisma, choose your leaders based on how they stack up in integrity, in honesty, in wisdom and in Godliness.
When King David heard all this, he was furious. Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.
Two years later, when Absalom’s sheepshearers were at Baal Hazor near the border of Ephraim, he invited all the king’s sons to come there. Absalom went to the king and said, "Your servant has had shearers come. Will the king and his officials please join me?"
When David heard that Amnon had raped Tamar, he was furious. But he did nothing. Perhaps he was hesitant to confront Amnon because he was David’s oldest son. Perhaps David’s own feelings of guilt about his relationship with Bathsheba make him afraid of being the pot that called the kettle black. For whatever reason, David took no decisive action against Amnon. The result? The ball of anger and distrust among his children kept rolling and growing, and two years later, David’s son, Absalom set a trap for Amnon and killed him.
This wasn’t the first time David had hesitated to take decisive action against someone. Joab, the commander of David’s army, had created severe problems for David when Joab entrapped Abner and murdered him right at the moment that David was working on using Abner in a peaceful settlement. Instead of punishing Joab for the murder of Abner, David let it slide. So, because he got away with it the first time, Abner did it again, later murdering Absalom when David told him to protect the young man’s life. David’s indecisiveness in dealing with the sins of Amnon and Joab created havoc in both his personal life and in his kingdom. By avoiding the pain of dealing with the sins of these people, David created even greater pain for himself and others in the future.
It’s very, very difficult and painful to confront the sins of your family. It’s even harder to confront the sins of your friends and co-workers. But look at the example of David. If David had punished Joab the first time he sinned, perhaps Joab would have learned from the punishment and would not have repeated his sin. If David had punished Amnon for what he did to Tamar, the animosity between David’s sons might not have escalated like it did. If David had dealt decisively with Absalom’s murder of Amnon, perhaps he would have stopped Absalom’s later rebellion.
When you see sin around you, stop being indecisive in dealing with it. The pain of confronting the sin in the first place is minor compared to the pain that could result if that sin continues and escalates.
Amnon claimed to be in love with Tamar, his half-sister. Actually, he was in lust… so much in lust that he set a trap for her and raped her when she wouldn’t give in willingly. Within hours, his so-called "love" turned to hatred and disgust. Then he compounded his sin by throwing her out, making it look like she was the one who had instigated the encounter rather than him.
Lust is a very human feeling, something virtually every person experiences at one time or another. In fact, many people spend so much time trying to satisfy their lust that they never find true love. How do you tell the difference? Especially when lust is so intense… so overwhelming. Especially when movies and television and books play on our lust more and more and more, enticing us with the apparent pleasures available all around us? Let’s take a look at 1 Corinthians 13.
Love is patient. Lust can’t wait. Love is kind. Lust is cruel, determined to be satisfied no matter what. Love does not envy. Lust sees an actor on the screen who always ends up in bed with a beautiful woman and wants to be just like him. Lust wants to take another man’s wife or another woman’s husband. Love does not boast. Lust makes a person preen and swagger and prance in an attempt to gain access to its target. Love is not proud. Lust is filled with vanity, sure of its ability to conquer. Love is not rude. Lust doesn’t take time for propriety, doesn’t care how one behaves. Love is not self-seeking. Lust cares for nothing but self-gratification. Love is not easily angered. Lust fills a person with fury if it is not satisfied. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Lust will give out a list of wrongs, over and over and over again, doing everything in its power to condemn the other person if he or she does not give in. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Lust is evil exemplified and will twist the truth – even using scripture out of context – to win its case. Love always protects its object. Lust only protects itself. Love always trusts. Lust is jealous, suspicious, trusting no one. Love always hopes. Lust only hopes to be satisfied. Love always perseveres. Lust stops cold as soon as it is satisfied, moving on to newer and more gratifying conquests.
See the difference? Whether you’re single or married, lust can creep in and take over. Decide which one you want – the love that God wants you to have or the lust that your body wants to have. Learn from the Word what the difference is. Then when lust shows up, you’ll recognize it.